Alan Wake Wiki

As Alan Wake 2 has now launched, be wary of major spoilers of the game. It is recommended you play the game before browsing the wiki.


Alan Wake Wiki
Alan Wake Wiki

Tapio's Weather Report is one of the collectibles found in Alan Wake 2. It is one of Pat Maine's radio shows.


Pat: That concludes our debate on whether pets should be allowed at this year’s bake sale. For those of you just tuning in, you’re listening to the Pat Maine Radio Hour, brought to you by Davis Family Moose Jerky, and boy what an eventful day here in Bright Falls. By now we’ve all seen the FBI setting up shop in town- and I’m sure you’re all asking the same question I am...

Pat: Did they bring all this darn rain with them? Deerfest is right around the corner, and we’re all crossing our fingers for sunshine, so I reached out to our top meteorologist for a weather update. She never responded, but I have her uncle Tapio on the line from Watery. Tapio, are you there?

Tapio: Yes.

Pat: Great, and Tapio, what kind of weather can we expect today?

Tapio: Rain.

Pat: That definitely seems to be on the menu. How about over the next week?

Tapio: Also rain.

Pat: Right. Care to elaborate? Any chance the sun will poke out in time for Deerfest?

Tapio: No.

Pat: Well, Deerfest is coming, rain or shine, and that parade lineup is looking dandy as ever.

Tapio: Yes, I like this parade because they have one float in the shape of a swan. Long neck and everything. Very large swan.

Pat:Ah so you’re a fan of swans?

Tapio: No.

Pat: Well, thanks so much for your time, Tapio. We’ll be back after a quick bathroom break. Don’t go anywhere.

Pat: Well, thanks so much for your time, Tapio. We’ll be back after this song submitted to us by Cathy’s grandson, Darrel.

Tapio: Thank you. Do I hang up now?

Tapio: How do I hang up? I am still here.

Tapio: Yes, I think I am on hold. I will try calling again.