Alan Wake Wiki

As Alan Wake 2 has now launched, be wary of major spoilers of the game. It is recommended you play the game before browsing the wiki.


Alan Wake Wiki
Alan Wake Wiki

Gil's Weird Joke is one of the collectibles in Alan Wake 2. It is one of Pat Maine's radio shows.


Pat: You can pick up those crochet dog sweaters at the Sunday Market. And while you’re there, go visit Wendy Davis and grab some of our sponsor’s famous beef jerky. Up next, we’ve got Deerfest- Oh, hold on now, we have a call coming in. Which button’s the... Hello?

Tapio: Hello. Still here.

Pat: Wrong line. Hold on. Hello, you’re on with Pat Maine.

Gil: Yeah. Gil Davis here.

Pat: What a pleasant surprise! We have Gil Davis on the line from our lovely sponsor, Davis Family Beef Jerky. Gil, any thoughts on those crochet dog sweaters?

Gil: You need to stop.

Pat: What’s that?

Gil: Just stop. Whatever this is you’re doing, stop.

Pat: I’m not sure I understand, Gil.

Gil: There’s no such thing as Davis Family Beef Jerky. I don’t sell beef jerky, I’ve never made beef jerky, and I don’t particularly like beef jerky. I’m getting crazy phone calls for jerky orders, day and night. You’ve got confused old ladies all over this goddamn town on the hunt for imaginary beef jerky, asking for insane flavors like hickory teriyaki, which clearly isn’t a thing.

Pat: If you don’t sell beef jerky, then somebody needs to tell your lovely wife, Wendy, because she’s out there at the market every Sunday selling it.

Gil: Wendy is dead, Pat!

Pat: No, that’s... that's not right. I just saw Wendy at the market last weekend.

Gil: Wendy went missing in 13 years ago, Pat. They found her body. She’s dead. We’re trying to make peace with that, and you’re making it so much harder with all this goddamn beef jerky bullshit.

Pat: No. That’s just not true. She’s there. Every weekend I see her there. This joke’s gone far enough, now go get Wendy on the line so we can all have a laugh about this.

Gil: She’s fucking dead, Pat. Stop.

Pat: Gil?

Pat: I think we’re out of time. Um. Dog sweaters. Sunday market. And... Yeah. Pat Maine signing off.

Pat: I think we should take a break. Um. Dog sweaters. Sunday market. And... um... here’s a song.