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Alan Wake Wiki
Alan Wake Wiki

Donna's Jerky Review is one of the collectibles found in Alan Wake 2. It is one of Pat Maine's radio shows.


Pat: Welcome back and boy do we have some breaking news- that’s sure to knock your socks off. Davis Family Beef Jerky will now be available at the Sunday market in three delicious flavors. That’s right, our favorite sponsor, Davis Family Beef Jerky, can now be enjoyed in smoked hickory, teriyaki, and hickory teriyaki. I handed out samples here at the Valhalla Nursing Home- and thought I’d catch up with one of our residents to get her thoughts. Donna, how are you?

Donna: I’ve got chronic back pain from my spinal stenosis.

Pat: Oh dear. Y’know, when I’m feeling stiff I find a light snack helps. So did you try that beef jerky?

Donna: No, lunch is at eleven and I wanted to save my appetite- because today was the fish soup with crackers. You’re allowed up to four crackers, but I only take one unless I have a glass of cranberry juice. They ran out of cranberry juice at breakfast, which is at seven. I didn’t take the oatmeal today because it makes me gassy before cribbage-

Pat: So you didn’t try the jerky. Got it. Well that’s too bad, Donna. Their new teriyaki flavor sure does hit the spot.

Donna: They had teriyaki salmon with rice on Friday’s dinner menu. Dinner’s at five, but we all know the salmon takes longer to prepare and then you’re late for bingo. And who needs all that spice?

Tapio: I agree. Teriyaki is a shit flavor.

Pat: Who... Is that Tapio? How are you on the line?

Tapio: I couldn’t end the call.

Pat: You’ve been on the phone this entire time?

Tapio: Yes. And I hate teriyaki.

Pat: Well, it’s delicious on jerky, so let’s give a big thank you to Wendy Davis for these samples.

Tapio: Wendy? No, that can’t be right. Wendy went missing in 2010. I heard she’s dead.

Pat: No, I’m referring to Wendy Davis, from our sponsor, Davis Family Beef Jerky.

Tapio: Wendy Davis. That’s the dead one. She’s dead.

Pat: Right. Well that’s our time. Remember to keep your coffee warm and your chin up because that sunshine is right around the corner. Pat Maine signing off.

Pat: Right. Well that’s our time. Sunshine’s right around the corner, so I’ll leave you with this sunny little diddy to carry you through the day. Pat Maine signing off.

Pat: Right. Well that’s our time. We’ll be right back after this next song by the rock n’ roll sensation National Nightmare.



  • If "Tapio's Weather Report" was previously collected but not "Donna's Jerky Review", the first radio found after interviewing Alan Wake during Return 3: Local Girl only plays the last line of "Donna's Jerky Review." This means it will not be collected until the next radio is found, and that this specific radio will never play another radio show.
    • Furthermore, when "Donna's Jerky Review" is collected on the next radio found, the last line does not play.